Battle Of The Bogbrush

It was the 1960’s and rock and roll, and sex with everyone was in fashion.  Except here obviously.  Up in Derry by the banks of the river Londonfoyle, community tensions were high.  High up on tower blocks firing petrol bombs to be specific.  Gerrymandering had become almost as unpopular as Gerry Anderson would prove to be in future years.

Northern Ireland Prime Minister of the time, James Double-Barrel, had used his powers to deny the Catholic people of Derry access to bog brushes and the place was beginning to stink even more than usual.  The problem was exacerbated by the fact Catholic families were forced to live in houses with 17 other people.  Nothing to do with unionists this time, the rhythm method simply doesn’t work.

With 17 arses and not 2 bog brushes to rub together, people took to the streets.  “What do we want!” – “Two bog brushes to rub together.” – “When do we want them?” – “As soon as we get a 32 county socialist republic!” – Came the calls led by Bernadette Devlin.  Her comrade Eamonn McCann went into the battle a young man with big sideburns and a dirty toilet bowl and emerged as, well, an old man with grey sideburns and a dirty toilet bowl.  Some things never change.

Footage of the battle also shows a young John Hume, he’s not doing anything in particular, it’s just in his contract that any footage of Derry from pre 1987 has to have him in it.  Besides that, the recordings also shows rioters in suits, now there’s something you don’t see anymore!  Today it’s all Kappa this and fake Burberry that – where has the pride gone?  Yes we all have bog brushes now, but are we truly any better off?  Only the vast unscrubbed toilet of time will tell.

To celebrate the battle, we've left the toilets in Random Shite HQ unscrubbed for the last few weeks.  Why not let us know what you've been up to at
bogbrush@randomshite.co.uk