Adams Moves On Decommissioning

The Queen's member of Parliament for West Belfast, Gerry Adams, today made a public act of decommissioning in the face of growing pressure/girly moaning from the DUP.  As he stood before a shocked global press he proceeded to shave off his trademark beard, while reading the following statement:

"Today is a historic day for the peoples of Ireland.  Ian Paisley has refused to go into government with us.  He wanted a Polaroid.  We sent him one of Barbre deBruin doing a sexy pose, but he sent it back.  We sent him one of Alex Maskey doing a sexy pose, he didn't send it back, but still no government.  So after a period of consultation, today in front of the world I am publicly decommissioning my beard.  Republicans have made the first step Mr. Paisley.  It's now up to you to decommission Jeffery Donaldson."

An Irish language version of this article is available by emailing
ta-an-irish-version@randomshite.co.uk

An Ulster Scots version is also available by reedin the above ar'icle in a wile funny aksunt hi boy.