About Us
It all started in 1989 when, as fate would have it, we happened to meet in in the geriatrics ward in hospital.
Sadie was in with a laxative overdose,
Bob was in for a breast reduction and Mavis was in
for corrective surgery on her right ear lobe. We soon bonded over a late night game of strip poker
and a bottle of Tobagan rum. We began to recognise our mutual love for all that was shite. Three
retired, single ladies with time on our hands, we realised we still had something left to offer the public
and so we started up a newsletter called "Various Crap" to let people know about what was going on
in the world.
As the newsletter became bigger over the next three years our readership spiralled into double figures.
Unfortunately all this popularity got McDonalds' attention and they slapped a law suit on us claiming we had
infringed their rights to the phrase "Various Crap." We were McFucked. They took all our money
and shut us down. We were left with nothing. The bastards even took away Sadie's Stannah stair lift.
However, we weren't going to be beaten by a bollocks in a clown suit selling crushed up cow heads. Over
the next ten years the three of us started our own bordello and whored ourselves to anyone willing to give us
money. It was a struggle (and I won't say we didn't enjoy it) but eventually we finally had enough money
to buy another Stannah for Sadie and start business all over again.
During those long years of blood, sweat and various other fluids, times had changed. Labour were in power,
someone had invented WKD and Bob's gout had finally cleared up. We had entered the 21st century, an age of
global communications. We saw an opportunity to spread our message, not just to the bed ridden who couldn't
stop us pushing our newsletter through their door, but to spread our shite throughout the entire world. And
so Random Shite was born....
