24 Season 7

We know as fans of clock based drama you will all be looking forward to the next series of 24 starring Kiefer Sutherland. That might look like him receiving an Emmy in that photo but he's actually using it to beat vital information out of a naughty terrorist.

Coincidentally, we managed to bet hold of an NBC executive and beat some information about the next series of 24 out of him, which is a bit odd considering it's on Fox but never mind. Here's the low-down...

24: Season 7

11:00	Kiefer Sutherland wakes up on his sofa with an awful fucking hangover.
11:01	Kiefer leans over and grabs a half empty bottle of vodka and downs it.
11:28	The phone rings, it's the President. The First Lady has been kidnapped by a mad scientist hell-bent on stripping her of all her DNA and replacing it by DNA spliced from a goat and Hitler, unless 24 of the worst terrorists the world has ever seen are immediately released and given a free Buick.
11:29	Kiefer tells El Presidente to go fuck himself, "It’s Kiefer's day off you cunt, go find some other asshole."
12:03	Kiefer finishes off his cold pizza from yesterday, possibly the day before.
12:16	Kiefer cracks open a tinny.
12:54	Kiefer sticks pins in his Jason Patric doll.
13:22	Kiefer finishes downloading every episode of the Sopranos and Lost from BitTorrent.
13:23	Kiefer deletes every episode of Lost.
13:30	Kiefer watches some of his old flicks from when he was cool and wonders, over a bottle of gin, where it all went wrong.
16:30	Kiefer makes a prank call to Christian Slater to cheer himself up by shouting, "You're career sucks," down the phone.
16:32	Christian returns the call, telling Kiefer his grammar sucks.
16:34	Kiefer phones for a pizza and goes for a shit, bringing a bottle of Bud.
17:40	Kiefer has had to wait over an hour for the pizza he ordered.
17:41	Kiefer brutally tortures the pizza boy.
17:54	Torturing the pizza boy involved introducing the pizza to the pizza boy's rectum. Now Kiefer is pizzaless, hungry and angry.
17:55	Kiefer busts open a 10 glass of Hennessey and gets busy.
18:12	Kiefer moves on to Sambuca with a Jägermeister chaser.
01:19	Kiefer wakes up in a pool of his own piss with vomit down his shirt. There is also some jizz, but Kiefer doesn't know where that came from.
01:30	Kiefer's still hungry so heads out for a kebab in his car but gets done for drink driving by the peelers.

Apparently the DVD extras will include what happens between 7pm and midnight.
24@randomshite.co.uk